X-Symantec-TimeoutProtection: 0 Return-Path: X-Original-To: info@ausheart.com.au Delivered-To: info@ausheart.com.au Received: from localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id B334ADEB5F for ; Sun, 26 Mar 2006 08:24:54 +1000 (EST) Received: from marlin.fishinternet.com.au ([127.0.0.1]) by localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 25754-08 for ; Sun, 26 Mar 2006 08:24:36 +1000 (EST) Received-SPF: none (marlin.fishinternet.com.au: 150.101.193.82 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of fathersonline.org) client-ip=150.101.193.82; envelope-from=info@fathersonline.org; helo=email.polyglot.com.au; Received: from email.polyglot.com.au (eth2643.nsw.adsl.internode.on.net [150.101.193.82]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 1C5B1DEB59 for ; Sun, 26 Mar 2006 08:24:34 +1000 (EST) Received: from server ([192.168.100.14]) by email.polyglot.com.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.211); Sun, 26 Mar 2006 09:26:09 +1100 Thread-Topic: What Our Children Teach Reply-To: Message-ID: <2f4ea01c6505b$1d560320$0101a8c0@polyglot.local> thread-index: AcZQWx1TdYGoKPdTRQK7SatXpoLmog== From: To: Subject: What Our Children Teach Date: Sun, 26 Mar 2006 09:26:09 +1100 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_2F4EB_01C650B7.50C67B20" X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Exchange 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.3790.326 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 25 Mar 2006 22:26:09.0122 (UTC) FILETIME=[1D587420:01C6505B] X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at fishinternet.com.au This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_2F4EB_01C650B7.50C67B20 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Unable to read this email? Please click here Issue 182 - 20th February,2006 Go to our website Here * Welcome Warwick * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads * All you need is Love * Thought of the Week * Special Feature * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * About Us Welcome Warwick Recently I was asked to speak at a 'Bruise Your World - What is a Real Man?' father and son night. You might well ask, 'What is a Bruise Your World night?' That is the question that was on my mind when I walked in the door of the Youth Auditorium. The first thing I noticed was the meat on the barbecue and the ginger beer /Coca Cola option. They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Bruise Your World was going for gold already. The next thing I noticed was the extreme surfing video on the giant screen and all the game options. Daytona car racing simulator, really loud live music, pinball machines, indoor soccer games table and to cap it off, we had a gigantic vertical bungee, a competition game between two people who run along a blow-up race, attached to a spring-like leash. The challenge is to reach or place an object on some Velcro before you lose all your dignity and get pulled back to the start upside down. It seemed that all the games were about competition and what else is there in a man's life anyway? I was pitted against Paul, built like the Eiffel Tower, and unfortunately for me he used his height to his advantage. But I'll beat him next time. It was time for the speaker - me, but first I got my friend Juita to speak before me. Juita, a champion footballer, is built like a tank, and he entertained us all by telling how he used his muscles on the field to knock his opponents out of the game. After convincing us all of his opponent-crushing-abilities in competition football, he then told us something entirely different about himself. To Juita, being a real man was more about loving your wife and kids. Being a real man was taking responsibility for your reproductive organs. Juita shared some of his mistakes and failures with us all because only a 'real man' can admit that he is wrong. Anyway I wasn't prepared to argue with him. One blow from him would put me in the emergency ward. I then asked about 6 or 7 dads to tell us their opinion of what a 'real man' is. It was interesting to note that all of the men had common things to say and it wasn't about competition. Words such as: responsibility, humility, openness, faithfulness, the ability to cry and show emotion, keeping your word, integrity and commitment in marriage, long term commitment to provide love care, nurture and protection for our children over our life span, were talked about. At times, as the men shared their feelings, thoughts and mistakes, they found it difficult not to cry. Here was a group of men, speaking from their hearts to a group of boys, adolescents and young men. Everyone was listening and drinking it in. For me, the most moving story was a young father who had his two young teenage sons present. Craig told how he had one father and five stepfathers, but with all due respect to any stepfathers present, that was 5 stepfathers too many. He encouraged the young men present to become responsible fathers and to change their families by proactively loving and remaining faithful to their own wives and children. Craig also pointed out that this was the best way to change the world as well. One father at a time. One family at a time.Is that why you are reading this newsletter? Lovework Just do what Craig said, and watch how many problems you will solve. Try it and find out! Yours for more real men Warwick Marsh PS This week the vote will be taken to pass the fatally flawed 'Shared Parental Responsibility Bill 2005' in Federal Parliament. The children of Australia, who can no longer see their fathers because of the systemic corruption within the family law system, would greatly appreciate your support. For more comment on the many different ways you could get involved to help bring justice to our children and equality for men and women, read Ian Windsor and Ash Patil's comments in our section: Single Fathers - Putting Our Children First. ________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 25 years to 13 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. back to top Grandads The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. Martin Luther King back to top Laughter Letter home from boarding school... Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on. A week later..... a letter from "home" Dear Son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Love, Dad back to top Single Dads Putting Our Children First Separated Dads Demand a Presumption of Equal Parenting I am sure that hundreds of thousands of Aussie dads would share my disappointment with the government for failing to allow good fathers to continue sharing child-rearing responsibilities with their ex-partners. Its much touted Shared Parental Responsibility Bill, 2005 (SPR) is little more than maternal custody and paternal liability which is what we've already got. A presumption of SPR exists for married parents with an added presumption of shared custody/equal parenting built in. At separation the presumption of equal parenting is automatically extinguished for fathers causing some to give up in despair and forcing others into a protracted and costly custody battle, knowing that the odds are stacked against them. In the vast majority of separations, the family law system forces good fathers to capitulate and accept far less for themselves and their children than is reasonable. The consequences of paternal alienation are well known, but the government, aided and abetted by the anti-fatherhood movement (AFM), will not bring itself to admit that this is crazy public policy. Fatherhood should not be extinguished by separation. And yet the AFM won the day convincingly and we?ve ended up with what we already have, namely SPR. Their trump card was the 'but it will all be too disruptive for the children routine'. Thus the government acceded to the demands of mean-spirited people with petty arguments, thereby failing yet again to address the family law fatherlessness problem its parliamentary committee (PC) was commissioned to fix. The AFM's stock standard argument is 'all men are wife bashers and/or child abusers and if they aren't, they have the potential to be'. This premise underpinned all custody decisions but now it is beginning to lose currency with the government. So too, is the 'all men are hopeless, they can't even boil water', argument. Even when single fathers meet all the parenting competencies, and live near the mother, and have all the resources in place needed for equal parenting, the AFM still opposes them. The pettiness of their argument is typified by a submission to the Standing Committee on Family and Community Affairs (PC), by a well-known organisation, Focus on the Family, that espouses traditional family values and at the same time publicly opposes equal parenting. They use the sure-fire, 'the child's need for routine and stability', argument. They claim that a child is no better off in a shared custody arrangement and they quote Dr Judith Wallerstein, a tireless campaigner against equal parenting: Comparing children in joint physical custody with those raised in sole custody homes shows that the amount of time a child spends with each parent is unrelated to how well that child copes with life in a family, at school, or any other measure of social and psychological adjustment. Not true! We know that the worst situation for a child, on average, is to be raised in a sole parent, fatherless household. This was precisely the problem the parliamentary committee was commissioned to resolve. Again according to this organisation, not only are children no better off in a shared custody arrangement, they are far worse off. In support of their argument they further quote Dr Wallerstein who speaks of some young children: Who after returning from dad's house go around mum's house touching all the familiar objects 'their bed, the dresser, their toys' just to make sure they are real. They feared their home would have disappeared while they were gone.Teachers can often tell when older children have made the residential shift because they have a hard time settling down, requiring a day or two to settle into a new routine and to be able to concentrate. This results in the dangers of lost homework and falling behind the other students. What unbridled, self-serving nonsense! Almost everything we do is disruptive - going to work, marrying, having children, holidaying and even dying. They believe that 'these characteristics would be exacerbated if children must spend equal time with both parents'. And they conclude that they 'believe that the concept of a 'rebuttable presumption' that children will spend equal time with each parent after separation is not realistic'. Tragically, the government is hell bent on proceeding full steam ahead with its anti-fatherhood legislation, fuelled by the machinations of experts of the calibre, none less than Dr Wallerstein and her disciples. I'd like to assure the government and the neurotic little chickens running around squawking about the sky falling, that it won't. For the benefit of the government and its anti-fatherhood chums, we already have a `one size fits all' regime and we don't want another. The good fathers of Australia want a rebuttable presumption of equal parenting. Contrary to the misinformation spread by the Falling Sky Society and its AFM mates, fathers accept that not all children will spend equal time with each parent after separation because it is not always realistic and in many cases it is completely unworkable. That is the whole point of the rebuttable presumption. It would quickly eliminate the unrealistic and unworkable cases. Its great advantage however, is that it would open the floodgates for tens of thousands of children each year whose fathers meet all the 'eligibility' requirements for shared custody to continue a meaningful relationship with them. The costs of inconvenience to children must be measured against the benefits of having a father. For the past 17 years I have helped good fathers prepare custody cases. While falling far short of the mark, the proposed legislation in principal will give good fathers a small window of opportunity for presenting their case for equal parenting. The Family Law Court will most likely continue to ignore these demands for justice. When they do, we must bring it to our parliamentarians' attention. My great fear however, is that the Family Relationship Centres will be staffed by the AFM who will disregard inappropriate behaviour by an uncooperative parent, forcing the other to capitulate or litigate. Never has the scouts' motto been so timely. 'Be prepared ' thoroughly'. I can be contacted through my website. http://www.windsorparalegal.com.au iwparalegal@optusnet.com.au Ian Windsor Editorial Note: Ash Patil, from Fathers for Equality has asked us to publish the information below to all our leaders. Ash has developed the parliamentary email megaphone, a great way to express your passion to put our children first. He also lists some great resources that prove the point. We encourage you to make your voice heard for the children of Australia. The Family Law Amendment Bill (2005) is scheduled to be debated and voted on in the Senate this week. Australian Parenting Group, Fathers4Equality, who had recently been invited to speak to the Senate on this Bill, have yesterday distributed a Research Paper entitled "Parents are Forever...even if Marriages are not" the 113* 'supportive federal MPs and Senators of a 'presumption of pro-equal parenting time', in their bid to persuade the Attorney General to tighten the equal parenting provisions in this Bill because of concerns that the Family Court will undermine the intent of the Bill, which is to substantially increase equal parenting time (Shared Residence) outcomes.(much like it did of the 1995 shared parenting reforms) *Please note that the view on this topic of 30% of Senators and MPs was not revealed by the said recipients of the survey. The research paper, along with an extensive citation addendum, document the large body of credible academic literature available that emphasises the benefits of substantially equal parenting time to the welfare and safety of children of separated families, amongst other benefits, and conversely, the significantly higher emotional, physical and sexual risks to children associated with the current one-size fits all sole parenting norm. (1) 'Parents are Forever...even if Marriages are not' - A research based advocacy for a presumption of equal parenting time after separation http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/equalparenting/fathers4equalit y.nsf/files/ ParentsAreForever_2006_March.pdf/$FILE/ParentsAreForever_2006_March.pdf (2) Annotated Research Bibliography - extensive collections of citations that support benefits of substantially equal parenting time for children & parents. http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/equalparenting/fathers4equalit y.nsf/files/ ResearchforSharedResidence.doc/$FILE/ResearchforSharedResidence.doc (3) Most recent Press Release: "Equal Parenting laws AN INEVITABILITY, says Australian Parenting group" http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/equalparenting/fathers4equalit y.nsf/pages/ EqualParentingInevitability (4) A recent Press Release: "Senate flooded with submissions from Disaffected Fathers" http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/equalparenting/fathers4equalit y.nsf/pages/ InquirySubmissions (5) Photos - James Adams (Fathers4Equality Inquiry Spokesperson and Co-author of Research Material. http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/equalparenting/fathers4equalit y.nsf/files/ JamesAdams_DadandDaughter_Give_me_that_dummy6.JPG/$FILE/JamesAdams_Dadan dDaughter_Give_me_that_dummy6.JPG http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/equalparenting/fathers4equalit y.nsf/files/JamesAdams_DadandDaughter_Tug-of-war2.JPG/$FILE/JamesAdams_D adandDaughter_Tug-of-war2.JPG (6) List of submissions to the recent Senate Inquiry into Family Law Amendment: 85% of all submissions surprisingly being from Fathers http://www.aph.gov.au/senate/committee/legcon_ctte/family_law/submission s/sublist.htm (7) US Iowa article showing that the 'Consideration of Equal Parenting Time' provision in Family Law had categorically failed to increase Shared Residence in Iowa, resulting in only 13 joint custody outcomes since its introduction. http://www.wcfcourier.com/articles/2006/03/21/news/metro/ doc441ed2cfd7ffa296763768.txt (8) Equal Parenting Time presumptions are being enacted in law all over Europe. Brussels is soon to do the same: http://www.expatica.com/source/site_article.asp?subchannel_id=24&story_i d=28617&name=Divorced+parents+set+to+gain+co-custody + (9) Australians overwhelmingly support a presumption of Shared Residence. http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/equalparenting/fathers4equalit y.nsf/pages/publicopinion Why the Bill will fail to realise its intentions: **The 1995 Family Law reforms, with remarkably similar intentions to the current Bill, failed to increase shared parenting arrangements (and in fact reduced them), because the language of the legislation was not explicit enough to ensure compliance with the spirit and intent of the legislation. The current Bill is similarly structured to be again ignored by a Court that has a remarkably entrenched "sole custody - winner takes all" approach to child custody decisions. **The Family Court (and Relationships Australia) have made submissions to the various Inquiries pre-ceding this Bill, with quite explicit objections to the concept of equal parenting time or anything like it. Considering the key role these institutions will play in applying these new laws, there are well founded concerns that the intent of the current Bill will be critically undermined by these institutions, unless the equal parenting provisions in this Bill are strengthened. **The vast majority of Family Court judges have indicated via their judgments that they believe that equal parenting time or close to it is not in the best interests of children. The current Bill's request to consider equal parenting time is therefore open to rejection on this basis alone, in EACH AND EVERY INSTANCE. **The same Amendments were made in Iowa, USA in 2004. They have been CATEGORICAL FAILURES resulting in only 13 cases of joint physical custody since. Ohio is now in the process of debating the strengthening of the Legislation to include a "presumption that equal parenting time is in the best interests of the child". These laws failed in Ohio and they will fail in Australia unless they are strengthened. Changes required to the Bill in order to better fulfil its intent: (1) To rename the Bill the Family Law Amendment (Equal Parenting Time) Bill 2005, to ensure that the intent of the Bill is fully acknowledged by the Family Court and ancillary institutions. (2) To enact a presumption of equal parenting time (the starting point), rebuttable if child abuse can be proved. (3) To ensure that all children of separated families are judged according to the same legal standard, as such, the passage of the new Bill to be treated as a change in circumstance, thus allowing all children to exercise their rights to access and engage with both their parents. (4) To provide for continuous disclosure of equal parenting outcomes once the Bill has been passed, and to require a Parliamentary Inquiry twelve months after the introduction of the amendments to review the effectiveness of the legislation to achieve the aim of equal parenting time as a norm. ============================================= Please ask the Senators www.aph.gov.au to contact the Attorney General and the Prime Minister advising them of your concerns about the Family Law Amendment Bill in its current state, and indicate your support for an amendment to include a presumption of Equal Parenting Time. To use the Parliamentary Megaphone go to: http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org Please contact Ash Patil [email: president@fathers4equality-australia.org ] (mobile: 0437-967-955) or James Adams (mobile: 0417 258 364) anytime to discuss this very important changes to Family Law. A rebuttable presumption of equal parenting time is about children, and it's about time! "Do you know that over 90% of Australians support equal custody after separation? Show your support by signing the Online Equal Parenting Petition back to top All you need is Love Men Being Real By Craig Bennett Last week I spoke about being committed to our families, and how I made a re-commitment to God in regards to being committed to my family, with a strainer post as my witness. Today I want to talk more about commitment to our families, trying to ensure our families do stay together. I have been involved with the Fatherhood Foundation since its inception and I am totally sold out on what Warwick and his wife are doing to build up strong families in this great nation of ours. Last week I mentioned how a mate said to me, after his marriage fell to pieces, 'It was only a little affair', and I replied that there is no such thing, it has enormous consequences. Men we have to be mentally prepared to be committed to our families, committed to our wives, committed to our children, committed to our grandchildren, committed to strengthening the families across this nation, and in doing so, we will strengthen this nation in which we live, to be even stronger then what it is now. We need to as men strengthen our minds, so as to be able to strengthen our resolve to do what is best for our families and our selves. One of the greatest causes of family breakdown comes from when we men start to fantasise about what it would be like to have a bit of romance with someone else. Perhaps we might look at the girl from the office, the neighbour across the street, the girl at the local takeaway etc, thinking wow, I'd like to do???.. Another area that breaks down our resolve in being committed to our families, and truly weakens our minds is pornography, have you ever thought that by looking at naked women, apart from your wife, you have already broken faith with her? Your defences are already weakened, your mind has already been filled with sexual desires for other women, and so when another woman does come along your path, your mind, your desires are already primed to break faith with your family. Not only in the looking at the pictures and reading the stories, filling out minds with stories about other women, and we compare them with our wives, and so the circle of weakness grow stronger, our desires grow stronger and then one day we find an opportunity to flirt, or the desire to visit a brothel becomes stronger as we drive past one, and eventually we do succumb to our already weakened mind, and find ourselves in a situation that has broken our commitment to our families. Commitment takes resolve, it means action, and it means our minds have to be ready to defend our families at all costs. You might be reading this now, thinking, 'Why should I deny myself a little bit of pleasure and spice', and my answer to that is, you are not denying yourself anything, you are actually nourishing yourself, nourishing and feeding your family and looking after both yourself and your family and denying your self and your family the experience of being torn apart by adultery. A famous man once said, 'you become what you think about', lets get our minds of stuff that we don't want to become, instead thinking about stuff that we do want to become. _________________________________________ Craig Bennett has been married for 8 years and has 5 children, three of whom are stepchildren. He has recently established a ministry called: Men Being Real. To subscribe to this go to: James5-16-subscribe@yahoogroups.com * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Michael Kiely's book 'Man Overboard' is still available and will give you keys to win the battle of love and save your marriage from destruction. To get your free copy simply send your request with a copy of the first page of your fathersonline (which contains your first name and email address), to Michael Kiely: michael@newhorizon.au.com with 'Free copy of Man Overboard' written in the subject line. Make sure you give Michael some feedback on his kindness in giving you a copy, free of charge. back to top Thought of the Week It may be hard on some fathers not to have a son, but it is much harder on a boy Not to have a father. Sara Gilbert back to top Special Feature Learning to Listen By Richard Hardy 'Dad ' dad '.' dad .'.!. daaaaaaaaaaaaaad!!!? I'm a terrible listener. My poor children and wife - sometimes I just don't hear them when they're trying to get my attention or tell me something. I just get so caught up in my own thoughts I just don't hear anything else. I guess we all have our weaknesses and this is probably one of my greatest. Believe me, I'm working on it and I've asked my kids to help me. I've asked them to be patient with me and in return I have told them I will do my best to be a better listener. Listening, really listening and understanding are so important when trying to resolve conflicts and even minor 'scraps' with your kids. I was reminded of this recently when I was taking the kids for a bike ride early one Sunday morning. We bought my son a new bike for Christmas and he is just mad about it. Whenever I can, I take him riding and it's a great way for us to spend time together and both take in some fresh air and exercise. On this particular morning we were taking my daughter as well and she was going to ride in the kid's seat mounted on the back of my bike. She has been in it since she was 3 years old and she just loves it!. or so I thought. As soon as we were about to get going the tears started, and she started to wail: 'Dad, I don't want to go for a bike ride.' That morning, I really didn't feel like going for ride either - I was still half asleep. 'Well I've promised your brother we are going to go for a ride and that's what we're going to do,' I insisted. As I lent over to pick her up to put her in the seat, she stepped away with her arms folded and a big pout on her face. 'No!' she said. I felt my stomach tighten and my patience was slipping. In my mind, I was already picking her up and just putting her in that seat. She had agreed to come and my wife was out, so she was just going to have to come. But in that split second in which we all have the chance to choose the way we respond to a situation, I chose another way. I chose to listen. 'What's the matter sweetheart'? I asked. "You really don't want to go, do you'? 'No I don't,' she sobbed, suddenly a little calmer. 'Dad, I'm a big girl now, I start school tomorrow and that seat is for little kids.' All of a sudden I realised, I understood. I used to pick her up from pre-school in that seat. She had now decided in her own mind, that as she was about to start school, she was growing up and had moved on from the 'little kids seat'. I realised she had a very valid reason for her seemingly difficult behaviour. I picked her up and held her until the tears stopped and told her I understood she was a big girl now. I suggested we make this her last ride ever in the seat. She agreed and we all enjoyed her last ride on the back of my bike. So you can see that I'm learning - learning to really listen and understand. Next time you are challenged by your child's behaviour give it try. You might be pleasantly surprised. _________________________________________ Richard has been married for 12 years. He has a son, 7 years old and a daughter 5 years old. Richard considers that his most important work is to be the best dad he can be for his children. He holds an Associate position at an international engineering consultancy where he works as a professional civil engineer. back to top News & Info Family First Dissenting Report on Family Law Reform Bill (2005) The Family Law Amendment (Shared Parental Responsibility) Bill 2005 is the result of a number of parliamentary inquiries, starting with the House of Representatives Standing Committee on Family and Community Affairs inquiry which began in June 2003. This Bill is central to the hopes of many people in the community, particularly parents and also extended families, who have been damaged by the entrenched views of the Family Court against equal parenting. But Family First is strongly of the view that this Bill does not go far enough. The Bill should focus on equal parenting "time" rather than equal parenting "responsibility". That is what children need most of all - time with their mother and father. And love. Equal parenting basically means shared residence. Shared residence doesn't mean sharing living arrangements, but sharing bringing up the child so the child will spend some days at mum's house and some days at dad's house each week. If parents do not see their child and engage with their child, it does not count. If a parent has done nothing wrong, they should not suffer by being excluded from equal time with their children. That is wrong and unfair. The question we must always ask is: what is in the best interests of the child? That is Family First's top priority; the welfare of children. The Family Court is the worst place for Australia's children. We know that "in 2000-01 only 2.5% (329) of residence orders were for joint residence." In almost 98 per cent of cases, an Australian child will lose one of their parents after a Family Court decision. We are in danger of creating a stolen generation. That is why Family First will be introducing amendments for rebuttable presumption of equal parenting time, or joint residency for children, after relationship breakdown. That is the best outcome for children, who will be far better off if we can ensure families can stay together, even after a marriage has failed. Senator Steve Fielding Leader of the Family First Party Family First Senator for Victoria For full report go to page 71 at the following link: http://www.aph.gov.au/senate/committee/legcon_ctte/family_law/report/rep ort.pdf * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * MEDIA RELEASE Internet Porn Policy Breakthrough The Fatherhood Foundation congratulates Mr Beazley and the Labor Party on their brilliant initiative to call for mandatory filtering of internet pornography at ISP level. Warwick Marsh, founder of the Fatherhood Foundation and convenor of the bipartisan Sexual Integrity Forum www.sif.org.au held in Parliament House, Canberra in August 2005 said, "This is a great move by the Australian Labor Party to protect the children of Australia from being exploited by the multi-billion dollar porn industry. Whilst women continue to be portrayed as sex slaves on the home computers of our nation, they will never achieve true equality in Australia. The current internet porn highway into Australian homes is being used by paedophiles and child molesters to exploit our children. The Labor Party filtering policy is a great advance and we hope that Senator Coonan will listen to the voice of reason and act quickly to protect our children." Mr Marsh continued, "We are greatly appreciative of Jennie George, Member for Throsby, who was a co-sponsor of the Sexual Integrity Forum along with Senator Concetta Fierravanti-Wells, Senator for NSW. It might be noted that Jennie George wrote to all the local libraries in the Illawarra region regarding their policy on internet pornography and was greatly disappointed in their complete lack of understanding of the damaging effect of their inadequate policies to protect our children from pornography. The Labor Party's policy will solve this problem if the libraries accept the clean feed option." "This is great news for the families and children of Australia." For more information contact: Warwick Marsh 0418 22 5212 02 4272 6677 info@fathersonline.org www.sif.org.au back to top Dad's Prayer Dear God Help me look past my desire to compete with other men and realise there is far more to being a man than just winning in games of athletic or mental prowess, however fulfilling that might be. Help me win the race of love by staying committed to the end and even when I fail, which we all do, help me get back up and keep running in the long-distance race of love, because every woman wants a long term lover, and every child wants a long term father. 'Two becoming one' is still the secret of love's success back to top About Us Mission Statement & Help Us! Mission Statement The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families. Click here for more information about us Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving. That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation. Life is also about relationships. That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation, please mail your cheque or money order to: Fatherhood Foundation PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top Click Here to Unsubscribe ------=_NextPart_000_2F4EB_01C650B7.50C67B20 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Fatherhood Foundation
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Issue 182 - 20th February,2006 Go to our website Here


Welcome Warwick

Recently I was asked to speak at a 'Bruise Your World - What is a Real Man?' father and son night.  You might well ask, 'What is a Bruise Your World night?'  That is the question that was on my mind when I walked in the door of the Youth Auditorium.  The first thing I noticed was the meat on the barbecue and the ginger beer /Coca Cola option.  They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.  Bruise Your World was going for gold already.

 

The next thing I noticed was the extreme surfing video on the giant screen and all the game options.  Daytona car racing simulator, really loud live music, pinball machines, indoor soccer games table and to cap it off, we had a gigantic vertical bungee, a competition game between two people who run along a blow-up race, attached to a spring-like leash.  The challenge is to reach or place an object on some Velcro before you lose all your dignity and get pulled back to the start upside down. It seemed that all the games were about competition and what else is there in a man's life anyway?  I was pitted against Paul, built like the Eiffel Tower, and unfortunately for me he used his height to his advantage.  But I'll beat him next time.

 

It was time for the speaker - me, but first I got my friend Juita to speak before me.  Juita, a champion footballer, is built like a tank, and he entertained us all by telling how he used his muscles on the field to knock his opponents out of the game.  After convincing us all of his  opponent-crushing-abilities in competition football, he then told us something entirely different about himself.

 

To Juita, being a real man was more about loving your wife and kids.  Being a real man was taking responsibility for your reproductive organs.  Juita shared some of his mistakes and failures with us all because only a 'real man' can admit that he is wrong.  Anyway I wasn't prepared to argue with him.  One blow from him would put me in the emergency ward.

 

I then asked about 6 or 7 dads to tell us their opinion of what a 'real man' is.  It was interesting to note that all of the men had common things to say and it wasn't about competition.  Words such as: responsibility, humility, openness, faithfulness, the ability to cry and show emotion, keeping your word, integrity and commitment in marriage, long term commitment to provide love care, nurture and protection for our children over our life span, were talked about.  At times, as the men shared their feelings, thoughts and mistakes, they found it difficult not to cry.  Here was a group of men, speaking from their hearts to a group of boys, adolescents and young men.  Everyone was listening and drinking it in.  For me, the most moving story was a young father who had his two young teenage sons present.  Craig told how he had one father and five stepfathers, but with all due respect to any stepfathers present, that was 5 stepfathers too many.  He encouraged the young men present to become responsible fathers and to change their families by proactively loving and remaining faithful to their own wives and children.  Craig also pointed out that this was the best way to change the world as well. One father at a time. One family at a time.Is that why you are reading this newsletter?

 

Lovework

 

Just do what Craig said, and watch how many problems you will solve.  Try it and find out!

 

Yours for more real men

Warwick Marsh

 

PS This week the vote will be taken to pass the fatally flawed 'Shared Parental Responsibility Bill 2005' in Federal Parliament.  The children of Australia, who can no longer see their fathers because of the systemic corruption within the family law system, would greatly appreciate your support.  For more comment on the many different ways you could get involved to help bring justice to our children and equality for men and women, read Ian Windsor and Ash Patil's comments in our section: Single Fathers - Putting Our Children First.

________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in
age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician,
songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he
can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

 

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands

in moments of comfort and convenience,

but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

 

Martin Luther King

 


 

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Laughter

 

 Letter home from boarding school...

Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,
Your $on.

 

 



A week later..... a letter from "home"

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love,
Dad

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Single Dads

 

Putting Our Children First

 

Separated Dads Demand a Presumption of Equal Parenting

 

I am sure that hundreds of thousands of Aussie dads would share my disappointment with the government for failing to allow good fathers to continue sharing child-rearing responsibilities with their ex-partners. Its much touted Shared Parental Responsibility Bill, 2005 (SPR) is little more than maternal custody and paternal liability which is what we've already got.

 

A presumption of SPR exists for married parents with an added presumption of shared custody/equal parenting built in. At separation the presumption of equal parenting is automatically extinguished for fathers causing some to give up in despair and forcing others into a protracted and costly custody battle, knowing that the odds are stacked against them. In the vast majority of separations, the family law system forces good fathers to capitulate and accept far less for themselves and their children than is reasonable. The consequences of paternal alienation are well known, but the government, aided and abetted by the anti-fatherhood movement (AFM), will not bring itself to admit that this is crazy public policy.

 

Fatherhood should not be extinguished by separation. And yet the AFM won the day convincingly and we?ve ended up with what we already have, namely SPR. Their trump card was the 'but it will all be too disruptive for the children routine'. Thus the government acceded to the demands of mean-spirited people with petty arguments, thereby failing yet again to address the family law fatherlessness problem its parliamentary committee (PC) was commissioned to fix.

 

The AFM's stock standard argument is 'all men are wife bashers and/or child abusers and if they aren't, they have the potential to be'. This premise underpinned all custody decisions but now it is beginning to lose currency with the government. So too, is the 'all men are hopeless, they can't even boil water', argument. Even when single fathers meet all the parenting competencies, and live near the mother, and have all the resources in place needed for equal parenting, the AFM still opposes them.

 

The pettiness of their argument is typified by a submission to the Standing Committee on Family and Community Affairs (PC), by a well-known organisation, Focus on the Family, that espouses traditional family values and at the same time publicly opposes equal parenting. They use the sure-fire, 'the child's need for routine and stability', argument.  They claim that a child is no better off in a shared custody arrangement and they quote Dr Judith Wallerstein, a tireless campaigner against equal parenting:

 

Comparing children in joint physical custody with those raised in sole custody homes shows that the amount of time a child spends with each parent is unrelated to how well that child copes with life in a family, at school, or any other measure of social and psychological adjustment.  

  

Not true!  We know that the worst situation for a child, on average, is to be raised in a sole parent, fatherless household. This was precisely the problem the parliamentary committee was commissioned to resolve.

 

Again according to this organisation, not only are children no better off in a shared custody arrangement, they are far worse off. In support of their argument they further quote Dr Wallerstein who speaks of some young children:

 

Who after returning from dad's house go around mum's house touching all the familiar objects 'their bed, the dresser, their toys' just to make sure they are real. They feared their home would have disappeared while they were gone.Teachers can often tell when older children have made the residential shift because they have a hard time settling down, requiring a day or two to settle into a new routine and to be able to concentrate. This results in the dangers of lost homework and falling behind the other students.

 

What unbridled, self-serving nonsense! Almost everything we do is disruptive - going to work, marrying, having children, holidaying and even dying.

 

They believe that 'these characteristics would be exacerbated if children must spend equal time with both parents'. And they conclude that they 'believe that the concept of a 'rebuttable presumption' that children will spend equal time with each parent after separation is not realistic'. 

 

Tragically, the government is hell bent on proceeding full steam ahead with its anti-fatherhood legislation, fuelled by the machinations of experts of the calibre, none less than Dr Wallerstein and her disciples. I'd like to assure the government and the neurotic little chickens running around squawking about the sky falling, that it won't.

   

For the benefit of the government and its anti-fatherhood chums, we already have a `one size fits all' regime and we don't want another.  The good fathers of Australia want a rebuttable presumption of equal parenting. Contrary to the misinformation spread by the Falling Sky Society and its AFM mates, fathers accept that not all children will spend equal time with each parent after separation because it is not always realistic and in many cases it is completely unworkable. That is the whole point of the rebuttable presumption. It would quickly eliminate the unrealistic and unworkable cases.

 

Its great advantage however, is that it would open the floodgates for tens of thousands of children each year whose fathers meet all the 'eligibility' requirements for shared custody to continue a meaningful relationship with them. The costs of inconvenience to children must be measured against the benefits of having a father.

 

For the past 17 years I have helped good fathers prepare custody cases. While falling far short of the mark, the proposed legislation in principal will give good fathers a small window of opportunity for presenting their case for equal parenting. The Family Law Court will most likely continue to ignore these demands for justice.  When they do, we must bring it to our parliamentarians' attention. My great fear however, is that the Family Relationship Centres will be staffed by the AFM who will disregard inappropriate behaviour by an uncooperative parent, forcing the other to capitulate or litigate.

 

Never has the scouts' motto been so timely. 'Be prepared ' thoroughly'.

I can be contacted through my website.

 

http://www.windsorparalegal.com.au

iwparalegal@optusnet.com.au

Ian Windsor

 

 

Editorial Note: Ash Patil, from Fathers for Equality has asked us to publish the information below to all our leaders. Ash has developed the parliamentary email megaphone, a great way to express your passion to put our children first.  He also lists some great resources that prove the point.  We encourage you to make your voice heard for the children of Australia.

 

The Family Law Amendment Bill (2005) is scheduled to be debated and voted on in the Senate this week.

 

Australian Parenting Group, Fathers4Equality, who had recently been invited to speak to the Senate on this Bill, have yesterday distributed a Research Paper entitled "Parents are Forever...even if Marriages are not" the 113* 'supportive federal MPs and Senators of a 'presumption of pro-equal parenting time', in their bid to persuade the Attorney General to tighten the equal parenting provisions in this Bill because of concerns that the Family Court will undermine the intent of the Bill, which is to substantially increase equal parenting time (Shared Residence) outcomes.(much like it did of the 1995 shared parenting reforms)

 

*Please note that the view on this topic of 30% of Senators and MPs was not revealed by the said recipients of the survey.

 

The research paper, along with an extensive citation addendum, document the large body of credible academic literature available that emphasises the benefits of substantially equal parenting time to the welfare and safety of children of separated families, amongst other benefits, and conversely, the significantly higher emotional, physical and sexual risks to children associated with the current one-size fits all sole parenting norm.

 

 (1) 'Parents are Forever...even if Marriages are not' - A research based advocacy for a presumption of equal parenting time after separation

http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/equalparenting/fathers4equality.nsf/files/
ParentsAreForever_2006_March.pdf/$FILE/ParentsAreForever_2006_March.pdf

 

(2) Annotated Research Bibliography - extensive collections of citations that support benefits of substantially equal parenting time for children & parents.

http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/equalparenting/fathers4equality.nsf/files/
ResearchforSharedResidence.doc/$FILE/ResearchforSharedResidence.doc

 

(3) Most recent Press Release: "Equal Parenting laws AN INEVITABILITY, says Australian Parenting group"

http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/equalparenting/fathers4equality.nsf/pages/
EqualParentingInevitability

 

(4) A recent Press Release: "Senate flooded with submissions from Disaffected Fathers"

http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/equalparenting/fathers4equality.nsf/pages/
InquirySubmissions

 

(5) Photos - James Adams (Fathers4Equality Inquiry Spokesperson and Co-author of Research Material.

http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/equalparenting/fathers4equality.nsf/files/
JamesAdams_DadandDaughter_Give_me_that_dummy6.JPG/$FILE/JamesAdams_DadandDaughter_Give_me_that_dummy6.JPG

http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/equalparenting/fathers4equality.nsf/files/JamesAdams_DadandDaughter_Tug-of-war2.JPG/$FILE/JamesAdams_DadandDaughter_Tug-of-war2.JPG

 

(6) List of submissions to the recent Senate Inquiry into Family Law Amendment: 85% of all submissions surprisingly being from Fathers

http://www.aph.gov.au/senate/committee/legcon_ctte/family_law/submissions/sublist.htm  

(7) US Iowa article showing that the 'Consideration of Equal Parenting Time' provision in Family Law had categorically failed to increase Shared Residence in Iowa, resulting in only 13 joint custody outcomes since its introduction.

http://www.wcfcourier.com/articles/2006/03/21/news/metro/
doc441ed2cfd7ffa296763768.txt

 

(8) Equal Parenting Time presumptions are being enacted in law all over Europe. Brussels is soon to do the same:

http://www.expatica.com/source/site_article.asp?subchannel_id=24&story_id=28617&name=Divorced+parents+set+to+gain+co-custody+

 

(9) Australians overwhelmingly support a presumption of Shared Residence.

http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/equalparenting/fathers4equality.nsf/pages/publicopinion

 

Why the Bill will fail to realise its intentions:

 

**The 1995 Family Law reforms, with remarkably similar intentions to the current Bill, failed to increase shared parenting arrangements (and in fact reduced them), because the language of the legislation was not explicit enough to ensure compliance with the spirit and intent of the legislation. The current Bill is similarly structured to be again ignored by a Court that has a remarkably entrenched "sole custody - winner takes all" approach to child custody decisions.

 

 

**The Family Court (and Relationships Australia) have made submissions to the various Inquiries pre-ceding this Bill, with quite explicit objections to the concept of equal parenting time or anything like it. Considering the key role these institutions will play in applying these new laws, there are well founded concerns that the intent of the current Bill will be critically undermined by these institutions, unless the equal parenting provisions in this Bill are strengthened.

 

 

**The vast majority of Family Court judges have indicated via their judgments that they believe that equal parenting time or close to it is not in the best interests of children. The current Bill's request to consider equal parenting time is therefore open to rejection on this basis alone, in EACH AND EVERY INSTANCE.

 

 

**The same Amendments were made in Iowa, USA in 2004. They have been CATEGORICAL FAILURES resulting in only 13 cases of joint physical custody since. Ohio is now in the process of debating the strengthening of the Legislation to include a "presumption that equal parenting time is in the best interests of the child". These laws failed in Ohio and they will fail in Australia unless they are strengthened.

 

Changes required to the Bill in order to better fulfil its intent:

 

(1) To rename the Bill the Family Law Amendment (Equal Parenting Time) Bill 2005, to ensure that the intent of the Bill is fully acknowledged by the Family Court and ancillary institutions.

 

(2) To enact a presumption of equal parenting time (the starting point), rebuttable if child abuse can be proved.

 

(3) To ensure that all children of separated families are judged according to the same legal standard, as such, the passage of the new Bill to be treated as a change in circumstance, thus allowing all children to exercise their rights to access and engage with both their parents.

 

(4) To provide for continuous disclosure of equal parenting outcomes once the Bill has been passed, and to require a Parliamentary Inquiry twelve months after the introduction of the amendments to review the effectiveness of the legislation to achieve the aim of equal parenting time as a norm.

 

=============================================

Please ask the Senators www.aph.gov.au  to contact the Attorney General and the Prime Minister advising them of your concerns about the Family Law Amendment Bill in its current state, and indicate your support for an amendment to include a presumption of Equal Parenting Time. To use the Parliamentary Megaphone go to: http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org  

 

Please contact Ash Patil [email: president@fathers4equality-australia.org ] (mobile: 0437-967-955) or James Adams (mobile: 0417 258 364) anytime to discuss this very important changes to Family Law.

 

 A rebuttable presumption of equal parenting time is about children, and it's about time!

 

"Do you know that over 90% of Australians support equal custody after separation? Show your support by signing the Online Equal Parenting Petition

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All you need is Love

 

Men Being Real

By Craig Bennett

 

Last week I spoke about being committed to our families, and how I made a re-commitment to God in regards to being committed to my family, with a strainer post as my witness. Today I want to talk more about commitment to our families, trying to ensure our families do stay together. I have been involved with the Fatherhood Foundation since its inception and I am totally sold out on what Warwick and his wife are doing to build up strong families in this great nation of ours.

 

Last week I mentioned how a mate said to me, after his marriage fell to pieces, 'It was only a little affair', and I replied that there is no such thing, it has enormous consequences. Men we have to be mentally prepared to be committed to our families, committed to our wives, committed to our children, committed to our grandchildren, committed to strengthening the families across this nation, and in doing so, we will strengthen this nation in which we live, to be even stronger then what it is now.

 

We need to as men strengthen our minds, so as to be able to strengthen our resolve to do what is best for our families and our selves. One of the greatest causes of family breakdown comes from when we men start to fantasise about what it would be like to have a bit of romance with someone else. Perhaps we might look at the girl from the office, the neighbour across the street, the girl at the local takeaway etc, thinking wow, I'd like to do???..

 

Another area that breaks down our resolve in being committed to our families, and truly weakens our minds is pornography, have you ever thought that by looking at naked women, apart from your wife, you have already broken faith with her? Your defences are already weakened, your mind has already been filled with sexual desires for other women, and so when another woman does come along your path, your mind, your desires are already primed to break faith with your family. Not only in the looking at the pictures and reading the stories, filling out minds with stories about other women, and we compare them with our wives, and so the circle of weakness grow stronger, our desires grow stronger and then one day we find an opportunity to flirt, or the desire to visit a br othel becomes stronger as we drive past one, and eventually we do succumb to our already weakened mind, and find ourselves in a situation that has broken our commitment to our families.

 

Commitment takes resolve, it means action, and it means our minds have to be ready to defend our families at all costs. You might be reading this now, thinking, 'Why should I deny myself a little bit of pleasure and spice', and my answer to that is, you are not denying yourself anything, you are actually nourishing yourself, nourishing and feeding your family and looking after both yourself and your family and denying your self and your family the experience of being torn apart by adultery.

 

A famous man once said, 'you become what you think about', lets get our minds of stuff that we don't want to become, instead thinking about stuff that we do want to become.

 

_________________________________________

 

Craig Bennett has been married for 8 years and has 5 children, three of whom are stepchildren. He has recently established a ministry called: Men Being Real.  To subscribe to this go to: James5-16-subscribe@yahoogroups.com  

 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Michael Kiely's book 'Man Overboard' is still available and will give you keys to win the battle of love and save your marriage from destruction. To get your free copy simply send your request with a copy of the first page of your fathersonline (which contains your first name and email address), to Michael Kiely: michael@newhorizon.au.com   with 'Free copy of Man Overboard' written in the subject line. Make sure you give Michael some feedback on his kindness in giving you a copy, free of charge.

 

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Thought of the Week



It may be hard on some fathers

not to have a son,

but it is much harder on a boy

Not to have a father.

 

Sara Gilbert

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Special Feature

Learning to Listen

By Richard Hardy

 

'Dad ' dad '.' dad .'.!. daaaaaaaaaaaaaad!!!?  I'm a terrible listener.  My poor children and wife - sometimes I just don't hear them when they're trying to get my attention or tell me something.  I just get so caught up in my own thoughts I just don't hear anything else.  I guess we all have our weaknesses and this is probably one of my greatest.  Believe me, I'm working on it and I've asked my kids to help me.  I've asked them to be patient with me and in return I have told them I will do my best to be a better listener.

 

Listening, really listening and understanding are so important when trying to resolve conflicts and even minor 'scraps' with your kids.  I was reminded of this recently when I was taking the kids for a bike ride early one Sunday morning.

 

We bought my son a new bike for Christmas and he is just mad about it.  Whenever I can, I take him riding and it's a great way for us to spend time together and both take in some fresh air and exercise.  On this particular morning we were taking my daughter as well and she was going to ride in the kid's seat mounted on the back of my bike.  She has been in it since she was 3 years old and she just loves it!. or so I thought.

 

As soon as we were about to get going the tears started, and she started to wail:

'Dad, I don't want to go for a bike ride.'

That morning, I really didn't feel like going for ride either - I was still half asleep.

'Well I've promised your brother we are going to go for a ride and that's what we're going to do,' I insisted.  As I lent over to pick her up to put her in the seat, she stepped away with her arms folded and a big pout on her face.

'No!' she said.

I felt my stomach tighten and my patience was slipping.  In my mind, I was already picking her up and just putting her in that seat.  She had agreed to come and my wife was out, so she was just going to have to come.  But in that split second in which we all have the chance to choose the way we respond to a situation, I chose another way. I chose to listen.

'What's the matter sweetheart'? I asked.  "You really don't want to go, do you'?

'No I don't,' she sobbed, suddenly a little calmer.  'Dad, I'm a big girl now, I start school tomorrow and that seat is for little kids.'

All of a sudden I realised, I understood.  I used to pick her up from pre-school in that seat.  She had now decided in her own mind, that as she was about to start school, she was growing up and had moved on from the 'little kids seat'.  I realised she had a very valid reason for her seemingly difficult behaviour.

 

I picked her up and held her until the tears stopped and told her I understood she was a big girl now.  I suggested we make this her last ride ever in the seat.  She agreed and we all enjoyed her last ride on the back of my bike.

 

So you can see that I'm learning - learning to really listen and understand.  Next time you are challenged by your child's behaviour give it try.  You might be pleasantly surprised.

 

_________________________________________

 

Richard has been married for 12 years.  He has a son, 7 years old and a daughter 5 years old.  Richard considers that his most important work is to be the best dad he can be for his children.  He holds an Associate position at an international engineering consultancy where he works as a professional civil engineer.

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News & Info

Family First Dissenting Report on Family Law Reform Bill (2005)

 

The Family Law Amendment (Shared Parental Responsibility) Bill 2005 is the result of a number of parliamentary inquiries, starting with the House of Representatives Standing Committee on Family and Community Affairs inquiry which began in June 2003.  This Bill is central to the hopes of many people in the community, particularly parents and also extended families, who have been damaged by the entrenched views of the Family Court against equal parenting.

 

But Family First is strongly of the view that this Bill does not go far enough.

 

The Bill should focus on equal parenting "time" rather than equal parenting "responsibility".  That is what children need most of all - time with their mother and father. And love. Equal parenting basically means shared residence.  Shared residence doesn't mean sharing living arrangements, but sharing bringing up the child so the child will spend some days at mum's house and some days at dad's house each week. If parents do not see their child and engage with their child, it does not count.

 

If a parent has done nothing wrong, they should not suffer by being excluded from equal time with their children. That is wrong and unfair.

 

The question we must always ask is: what is in the best interests of the child? That is Family First's top priority; the welfare of children.

 

The Family Court is the worst place for Australia's children. We know that "in 2000-01 only 2.5% (329) of residence orders were for joint residence." In almost 98 per cent of cases, an Australian child will lose one of their parents after a Family Court decision.  We are in danger of creating a stolen generation.

 

That is why Family First will be introducing amendments for rebuttable presumption of equal parenting time, or joint residency for children, after relationship breakdown.  That is the best outcome for children, who will be far better off if we can ensure families can stay together, even after a marriage has failed.

 

Senator Steve Fielding

Leader of the Family First Party

Family First Senator for Victoria

 

For full report go to page 71 at the following link: http://www.aph.gov.au/senate/committee/legcon_ctte/family_law/report/report.pdf  

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

MEDIA RELEASE

 

Internet Porn Policy Breakthrough

 

The Fatherhood Foundation congratulates Mr Beazley and the Labor Party on their brilliant initiative to call for mandatory filtering of internet pornography at ISP level.

 

Warwick Marsh, founder of the Fatherhood Foundation and convenor of the bipartisan Sexual Integrity Forum www.sif.org.au  held in Parliament House, Canberra in August 2005 said, "This is a great move by the Australian Labor Party to protect the children of Australia from being exploited by the multi-billion dollar porn industry.  Whilst women continue to be portrayed as sex slaves on the home computers of our nation, they will never achieve true equality in Australia.  The current internet porn highway into Australian homes is being used by paedophiles and child molesters to exploit our children.  The Labor Party filtering policy is a great advance and we hope that Senator Coonan will listen to the voice of reason and act quickly to protect our children."

 

Mr Marsh continued, "We are greatly appreciative of Jennie George, Member for Throsby, who was a co-sponsor of the Sexual Integrity Forum along with Senator Concetta Fierravanti-Wells, Senator for NSW. It might be noted that Jennie George wrote to all the local libraries in the Illawarra region regarding their policy on internet pornography and was greatly disappointed in their complete lack of understanding of the damaging effect of their inadequate policies to protect our children from pornography.  The Labor Party's policy will solve this problem if the libraries accept the clean feed option."

 

"This is great news for the families and children of Australia."

 

For more information contact:

Warwick Marsh

0418 22 5212

02 4272 6677

info@fathersonline.org

www.sif.org.au  

 

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Dad's Prayer

Dear God

 

Help me look past my desire

to compete with other men

and realise there is far more to being a man

than just winning in games of athletic
or mental prowess,

however fulfilling that might be.

 

Help me win the race of love

by staying committed to the end

and even when I fail,

which we all do,

help me get back up and keep running

in the long-distance race of love,

because every woman wants a long term lover,

and every child wants a long term father.

 

'Two becoming one'

is still the secret of love's success

 

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About Us

Mission Statement & Help Us!

Mission Statement

The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families.

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving.  That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation.  Life is also about relationships.  That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones.
 
If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation,
please mail your cheque or money order to:
Fatherhood Foundation
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

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